Rich and I were discussing Einstein’s theory of relativity today because that’s the sort of conversations we have when I already have a headache. I have my own theories of the relativity of time, and how when drama happens, a day can seem like a week. I know this doesn’t have anything to do with Einstein’s theory – or does it? Do time and space slow down when you are in the grip of occurrences that bring you sorrow, or “gravity” if you will? Does the gravity of a situation glue your feet to the ground in a way that makes you gain the weightiness of it, making it harder and taking longer to carry across the day? 

I lost people that were close to me these past few weeks, and it’s brought space and time together that has me sifting through childhood memories, the decades that followed and a future without loved ones that were a foundational force for good in my life. That’s for another blog. 

Amidst all of the unexpected grieving, I had scheduled my first tattoo with @chiahtattoos at Stay True Tattoo. Here it is… 

Why a jellyfish? Aside from the obvious reason, i.e. Jellyfish on the Moon, I wanted to get a tattoo on my forearm so that when I play guitar, it looks up at me and it reminds me that I can do big things. Putting out an album, promoting it, working hard to get DJs to play it – especially when you are doing it yourself, takes a lot of a certain thing that comes naturally to people that don’t have ADHD. That thing is “executive function”.

ADHD is something I have to manage, and it is manageable for the most part – I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t. But oftentimes, it is difficult. It makes life seem more troublesome than it is, and has me feeling, well . . . topsy turvy, as the song says. Wait, what? Still haven’t listened to the song? Click here for links!

So it is bright and colorful, and reminds me that so is life, filled with its unknowns, its ups and downs, its ability to make me feel topsy turvy more often than most. I look down to it when I play guitar, and it reminds me I can do big things. Just wait and see.

#Tattoo #jellyfishonthemoon #jellyfish #NASA #singersongwriter #songwriter #jellyfishtattoo

I'm going to warn you, I'm very random right now. But I should mention my livestream on Wednesday, January 26th at 7:30 pm ET right here: Lisa Jeanette Every Wednesday But One

My singer-songwriter friend, Brian Theoret, posts pics of his dog with the hashtag #thisismybednow because, Porter . . . at least I think that’s his name, likes to make his bed from whatever he decides at the moment might make a nice bed. 

That phrase “this is my bed now” came to mind this morning as I had a bad night health-wise, not knowing if I had a reaction to my meds (likely) from eating some of the wrong things (even more likely) or maybe I had COVID (less likely). Like most, I live in fear that the dreaded disease isn’t glomming onto me and I try to keep it at bay for as much and as long as possible. 

Still queasy, exhausted and sleep deprived, I took time off from work today to recover. Looking around me at all the things left undone, processing once again this constant feeling of being in some limbo state for an indefinite amount of time but knowing full well that this isn’t limbo. This is life. 

I love the imagery from Dandapani, Hindu priest and former monk, who says that the mind and awareness are two different things and that the mind doesn’t wander, awareness does. He imagines awareness as an orb of light that illuminates the part of your mind you send it to. 

My orb of awareness tends to want to disengage with whatever takes me the furthest at the time, whether it is binge-watching Succession on HBO, pretending I’m an interior designer playing Redecor on my phone or eating comfort food. This often keeps me from living my best life, i.e. writing songs.

I must interject that Wordle is probably one of the healthiest diversions as it is not an app, it only lets you play one game, and then it doesn’t let you play again for 12 hours or so. You cannot binge on it. It is a one and done 3 to 10 minutes of distraction available to you twice a day. Finito.

Speaking of distraction, I have spent quite a bit of time and resources of late to better understand focus, which is where Dandapani's course Unwavering Focus is helping. I am practicing focus every day - I really have to at this point. Quarantine life has exacerbated my ADHD/ADD, and it is a priority to understand it and battle the effects. The podcast "Hacking Your ADHD" is something I've been listening to a bit as well.

For now I’ve concluded, as my song Portrait says, that “this is the frame I belong to”. Or as Porter thinks, this is my bed now. It might not be my choice of bedding, but it’s what I’ve got available. 

We all have our struggles. I wonder if you have also found ways to cope over these past two years, and how you are dealing with it. Let me know in the comments and share any tips you have found. 

In the meantime, please enjoy my hippie nutcracker - yes, it's still Christmas at Casa DeAngelis!

#hippie #hippienutcracker #wordle #ADD #ADHD #Dandapani #Focus #Succession #Covid #BrianTheoret #Portrait #Songwriter #SingerSongwriter